Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
