Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
