i wish peter jackson would direct porn
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
