When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
