Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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