just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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