let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
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