I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize