I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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