we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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