Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
