Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize