Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
