she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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