Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
