Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
