never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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