Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize