Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Small penises have feelings too.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
