oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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