i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
