where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
