Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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