So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
