i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
