just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
