I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
