forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
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Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
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I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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