Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
