yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She needs sedatives and a leash
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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