He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
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he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
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you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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