White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
