Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
