dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
