alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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