This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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