hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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