He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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