just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
