PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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