I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
