Sry I called you an 8
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
