i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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