Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
