I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
