dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
