that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
