We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
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And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
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you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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