It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
