I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
