Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
