margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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