i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
