how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
