Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's shark week go big or go home
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
