Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
